Yakubocrow

Reading 3:1 Leicester City
(Kebe, McAnuff, Hunt : King)
Leccy Board Championship : 16/04/2011
Madjeski Stadium, Reading (Ground no.68)



Yakubocrow

That was hard work but I have finally completed my masterpiece; the Yakubocrow is hanging off my washing line. The Yakubocrow is a life-sized model of Yakubu made from various household items and was produced over the past few nights after work. Forget revision, I wanted to create a piece of art which help with the stress of it.

It was produced for two reasons. Stop the local cats shitting in our back garden and to provide relief after seeing City pissing this play-off attempt up the wall. In the nearby shed in our back graden is a selection of weapons stretching from cricket bat to sledgehammer, these weapons are used to strike the Yakubocrow in order to relief the stress and frustation of it all. Cos that's all this attempt to get into the play-offs has done, frustrate me. So, having a nice Yakubocrow to destroy will help me through such agony.

NB. Yakubu is chosen due to the size of his arse, not his performances.

The past three games have been a bit like of a round of golf in which you lose the will to live and question youre ability. As you start off really well with the odd birdie and par (Burnley win), then get into a bit of a mess bogeying a few holes(Palace draw) and eventually you completely lose your head whilst stuck in a bunker (Reading loss). Basically, Rory McIlroy's recent failure at the US Masters.

That's pretty much the gist of the past three games. No nearer the playoffs yet it's still mathematically possible. The bastards, it's only Leicester who could do this! I am actually quite happy, I am on my holidays from Sunday onwards. The defence has been the problem and will remain the problem this season with such decisions as dropping the in-form Ben Mee for an available again, Jeffrey Bruma. Mee's twitter says he's as baffled as the rest of us.

First Reading goal, at least half of the defence keeps Shane Long onside despite an attempt to claim otherwise and Bamba's made to look a total mug by him as Long strugs him off running towards goal. The ball is squared to Jimmy Kebe who sees off the challenge of Van Aanholt easy to score. Second goal within a minute of that, marking slack from a throw-in...Oakley makes an interception but his first touch is so poor, Reading pick it up. McAnuff fakes his shot three times which Jeffrey Bruma falls for three times and eventually, the ball is struck into the net.

Despite all the dismay at the back, Bamba always struggling with Long whilst Bruma had a horror show displaying all the signs of 'it's not my fault' attitude. Bruma's selection even more the odd when you consider his last appearance was cut short thanks to a self-inflicted red card. We should have probably been level, Reading played like an away side. Plenty of men behind the ball and counter attacking when our move broke down. The ball was moved around slowly in front of reading but still half-chances appeared for Yakubu, King and Bamba. Just before the break, Wellens with the most clear-cut opportunity of the lot...his shot blocked by Matt Mills. To finish the half off, Kebe missed an absolute sitter with the defence in disarray.

This is somewhat a reoccuring theme after the break. Plenty of possession and eventually chances, Yakubu flashed a header away with no-one marking him, Vassell had a simple volley which he blazed over. However When the move broke down, it fell into Jimmy Kebe's feet who has this knack of just jogging past players without ever looking like tries. Shame his finishing is not the same quality, a further two sitters missed by him,he could have had four alone.

The killer came from one of these breakdown's Kebe legged it down the wing from pretty much one corner flag to another, Kamara was dismissed in the same fashion Usain Bolt would dismiss me in a sprint race. Personally, I'd just crop Kebe in the same fashion I'd do to quick lads at school and still do on Sunday mornings now. Keve squared it for Long but Vitor (who come on for a Bamba injured in the process of sprint back during one of these counter attacks) managed a brilliant tackle but it unluckily fell to Noel Hunt who simply struck it in the net.

The only cheer for Leicester, a crisp 25 yard drive from Andy King whose increasingly as the season wore on looked like he had cement in his boots. Hopefully, that's a confidence boost.

Reading had their game plan spot on, two banks of four, stuck up the pressure and take advantage when the full-backs get caught out of position. You'd have to say in Shane Long and Jimmy Kebe, they've have two of the best players in the division with Matt Mills and Jem Karacem not far behind. Playoffs? Maybe but it's a lottery, unless Hull or someone of similar ilk get some momentum between now and May 7th...I'd say they are favourites.

Any team which play 4-4-2 at the minute cause Leicester an issue, the four men in the opposition's midfield can quite easy cover the midfield three of City plus the full-backs. We pass it around too slow to take advantage of the extra man, when the ball's passed quick, a gap will open up but the ball's not zipped quicker enough. This is proven right if you look back at the fixture list with the only win over a 4-4-2 playing side, being against Scunthorpe (where unsurprisingly all the goals came from set pieces). Our most impressive performance against a team lined up in 4-4-2? QPR away when the formation was changed to a narrow 4-4-2.

Now if a team plays 4-3-3 against us (Donny, Burnley, Barnsley). They are dismissed with ease because the full-backs come into the game more as there's more space to exploit which is further proved right by goals for Naughton and Van Aanholt in these fixtures. So there's a problem, be interesting to see if ol'Sven spots it.



He's realised that he's just lost ten million (according to the News of the World)

I just went home and ensured I added more padding to Yakubocrow.

Onto Reading's Madejski,I don't like criticising new-build stadiums as ident-kit and all that jazz. The design of Madejski's is slightly different to the rest, extremely steep with the level of the seats broken up at the top. It's top-end of the market too, quite plush, plenty of leg-room and breezeblocks at a minimum. Problem is it's in the middle of nowhere, Reading three miles down an A road. Nearby is a Holiday Inn, loads of office blocks and a shitty retail park containing B&Q and Carpet-Right. There's the hint of housing estate if you further enough away. Which we did in the hunt of not being ripped off by one of the car parks, £5 to £8. We eventually plumping for the £7 one which donated 75% to Cancer Research. A compromise.



The stadium just doesn't facilite for a good football day. I'd hate going here week after week. It wouldn't be a 'day', it would be a chore. There didn't even seem to be a route of walking to and from the ground like Middlesbrough or like the Walkers. It was transport or nothing. Advice? Choose your visit here carefully basically if you have to travel a distance.

Bit of a lazy report, agreed? The reason I didn't go into massive detail about the game is it was the main FLS match on Saturday, so most folk seen it live or on the highlights. Cheerio, might do an article on Brighton in the week plus Florist on Friday and maybe Yeovil v Bournemouth on Saturday.

'Riverside Motherfucker!'

Middlesbrough 3:3 Leicester City
(Enmes, Williams & McManus : Yakubu (3))
Leccy Board Championship: 02/04/2011
Riverside Stadium, Middlesbrough (Ground no.67)



I am really unsure how to start describing this game to be perfectly honest. Every time I've wrote something about City, I've tried to put some positive topspin on my opinion despite my knack for being very negative about our fortunes. So this possesses neither though, it's firmly 'meh!'

Because when Stephen McManus powered a fine header into the back of the net in the 94th minute to equalise, it was probably the knockout blow we all knew that was coming to kill of the season (or at least, I felt was coming). Twenty minutes after the final whistle, I felt it quite easy to accept that really we are not quite good enough for the top six despite just watching us drop two points with two minutes left on the clock and dropping from 8th to 12th on the live table with Burnley, Reading and Forest to play.

We're been brilliant to watch at times this season, as good as football I've ever seen us play but as a defensive unit, it's been as bad as I've seen us play. We didn't even leak goals like this under Holloway. It's been the problem since the very first 45 minutes of the season at Selhurst Park.

This game pretty much managed to sum a season within 96 minutes and showcase Leicester City's fine excellence since the year 2000 to piss a lead up the wall.

I had questioned myself going to this game after reading and hearing all the reports but to be perfectly honest, I found Middlesbrough and it's Riverside Stadium not to be too bad at all. The drive up was easy, after deciding to park towards towards the town centre I did so for free just ten minutes walk from the town and the stadium. After a forty-five minute walk around Boro, I declared it perfectly okay and certainly the not worst town in the country as tagged by Channel 4. There's plenty of pubs nearby too reaching from the chains to the left side. Then just a ten minute walk through an industrial estate and then there's the Riverside which at least gives that impression of matchday.

And the Riverside's pretty much your average bog-standard middle-sized recently built bowl stadium which is always between half to 65% full with fans. It's design is a bit like Pride Park as the majority of the stadium is two tiered as opposed to a single rake. It's not looking too tired which is probably still from the Premiership days (stadium maintenance a costly expense). However, it's problem is the lack of crowd. It just lacks the presence a jam-packed, close-in stadium has. When a stadium such as this is so uniform, it's a massive factor. If a stadium/ground has little quirks, you don't get the urge to feel so close in. You happily take in the quirks.

You can see at Boro though there are a young set of followers who interested in trying to get an atmosphere (Red Faction, I belived they are called) and even trying something unique within English football (ultra style support) but it's a losing battle quite simply. Atmosphere thrives on spontaneous actions and as we fans continue to be cut off, told to sit down and pulled out for any ''offensive action''. It's going to be difficult but that's an argument for another day.To sum it up, Riverside Stadium is just another one of those grounds which lacks something original or anything to remind you why you got hooked on football but it is enjoyable, hassle-free however because it's not isolated in location.




As for the crowd, last week was Bradford and their epic drop through the divisions. Boro had the heights of the UEFA Cup Final and now they've got a flirtation with relegation to League One. Fans' expectations rise and that means when the club returns back to it's probably correct positioning within the footballing league, they all moan that it's not like the successful days. Crowd figures plummet. To top it off, in the Championship you'll be lucky to get ten teams come to Boro with four figures.

However, if the average Boro fan just fancied a visit on Saturday, he'd have got his money worth though. It was a scrappy battle of a Championship game, this was the other flip-side to the Championship from that high quality game recently at Loftus Road. Goals from mistakes, appalling officiating, some self-inflicted drama and ultimately for the Boro fan, a little pay-off.

They're were villains, they're were heroes and they're were the idiots. City started brightly with a rather odd midfield trio: King and Abe rested after international duty, replaced with Oakley and Gallagher. Ricardo dropped to the delight of a City support touching 1500. Four minutes in, Gallagher's corner reached an unmarked Wellens at the back post whose shot-come-cross was diverted in by Yakubu, villain no.1.

City continued to knock the ball around with a lot of ease, Boro weren't quite at the races yet until a gift of a goal. In describing the build-up to the goal, I have to name three Leicester players which says a lot. Weale rolled it out to Van Aanholt which was easy to spot was a risky decision, Van Aanholt had to make a quick selection of pass giving it to an under pressure Oakley who continued to display his knack of a five yard first touch (the sign of a past-it player). Rhys Williams won the ball laid it onto Marvin Enmes who bagged his second goal against Leicester this season. Weale probably should have done with the shot. 1-1. If only one of those three named, just wellied the ball.

It went back to the pattern of us knocking it around nice and easy. Boro's attack getting far too much room on the counter to put us on the back foot at times. Bruma in particular looking very, very vulnerable to Enmes pace and McDonald's littleman disease.



Step in villain no.2, the ref from Tyne and Wear. Yeah fair enough you've felt the need to book Yakubu for repeated fouling but why does he need to be two yards away from you to be booked? Then the ref showed clearly bias in ignoring Davies rough claim of the ball on the edge of the box later on in the first half. All this did was crank up the venom towards Yakubu from the Boro support and the ref got some off the City fans. It's something you always have to be careful of saying on a Sunday morning playing, you know if you make a comment which the ref doesn't like, he is going to pick you out for the rest of the game. He's the puppet master, the fat controller as such, he likes this role.

Another set-piece for our second (that's five in the last six off set-pieces), Bamba probably fouled keeper and Boro defender whilst the ball was in the air but it fell to Yakubu for his second two-yard tap-in. Lucky to be 2-1 up at Half-Time.

City did however pull together for their best period of the entire game after the break. Within the first minute of the re-start, Kamara made a chance which was well saved by Forest loanee, Paul Smith and then a third goal came thanks to Yakubu, who was now the darling of the Riverside crowd. Andrew Davies' daft miscalculation of an aerial ball, gave Yakubu a free run-in towards the 18-yard box and he slotted past Paul Smith. I am happy at this point, looks a good three points here. Not a perfect performance but hopefully a bit of confidence for the coming weeks.

However, the game see-sawed again. A poor pass, a slip by Wellens later and Rhys Williams had time to flick the ball up, volley it against the post and into the goal. Now I wasn't so confident, memories of speaking to my Dad on the phone asking what the Leicester score was one afternoon when they were away at the Riverside.

'What's the score?'
'3-1 to City, injury time.'
'Ok, I'll be back in..'
'It's 3-2 now.'
'I'll be back in about half-hour.'
'Hold on, it's 3-3 that twat Curtis has just scored an own goal'.

Every Leicester fan remembers that game.

We had the chance to kill it off, a great passing move where Kamara had an initial shot blocked the rebond of which came to Wellens who sensibly squared it to Gallagher, his shot straight to the keeper. Boro began to put some pressure on usnpw, Sven content with the scoreline subbed Gally off, Abe on. That past it bastard Oakley still on the pitch, impersonalting a captain. Zemmana (probably not the correct spelling of the Morrocan midfielder signed from Hibernian) for Boro then pinged a free-kick off the post.

The ref then began to demonstrate his air of control on the game. Arca shot from thirty yards out, hits Bruma somewhere on the side of the body whose pretty still and not even attempted a block as such. Handball appartently, extremely harsh with no assistance from linesmen either, the ref made his decision. Penalty it was. I have never seen Chris Weale save one ever or even look close. However, Yakubu again getting the crowd going delays the peno and clearly tells Weale wait to until the final second before diving.

He saved Julio Arca's peno, maybe that equaliser wasn't going to come I was thinking. Bruma then did a rather idiotic thing; must have uttered some words of fact in an offensive manner about the referee. Red card, ten men. What an idiot (the yellow card was a poor decision) and this is my issue with using loanees. Bruma is learning his game, he's learning it at expense of Leicester City, he's made mistakes, looks shaky, doesn't talk to fellow defenders or the keeper. He may well pick this up over time but it's not doing us any favours. Just plain daft on both accounts.

City were pretty incensed by this officiating performance and bookings were like confetti paper at this point. Boro again hit the post this time through Emnes after a bit of scramble and then some calm before the storm, a few free-kicks down our end to take the pressure. Off comes the excellent Kamara, on Waghorn. Daft choice, Howard's on the bench and a handy weapon at times. He's even more handy when the ball's going to be in the air a lot.

The goal did eventually come after spending all four minutes (of an unjustified six) in our half of the pitch of injury time, a corner whipped in, McManus rose above Bamba to secure the point. And that was simply that, the ref allowed Boro one more set-piece which fell to a Leicester player with the opportunity to count but the whistle went. All eyes on whether Reading make the fourth play-off spot there's on Tuesday evening.

Oh well, maybe next you disappoint us City make sure it isn't after such a roller coaster but that's probably why I love you.



Andy King was in his black car chopping on Burger King, I can assure you.